Marines

[phantom]

After a long night out drinking, a mariine and his Army buddy are stumbling home when the army guy starts crying about how his wife is goig to kick his ass for coming home so late and so drunk, the marine in the meantime is cool, calm, and very quite.
After some time of hearing hids friend cry like a bitch, the marine looks at his friend and with all sincerity tells him to listen to what he tells his wife and do the do the same thing he does and he'll be alright.....
A couple of blocks later they get to the marines house, and his wife is waiting for him with a fryin psn in her hand.
The marine looks at her and without missing a beating slowly walks up to her, looks at her straight in the eye, puts his arms around her and says:
Sweet constellatin, with eyes like a dove,
look all around you,
and tell me who you love....
Needless to say the girl put down the fryin pan, jumped into his big huge arms, and begged him to come in so they can make love all night..........
Well the Armt guy was very impressed indeed, but having been drinking all night and walking alone for about two blocks by himself, he tended to forget all the words, that and the fact his wife weighed about 580 lbs, and was missing all her front teeth.
But anyway being a soldier and facing the facts, either smooth tslk her or fasce certain death the soldier, walked up to his wife who was armed with a baseball bat, looked at her nervously and continued to utter this vain attempt at humorous romanticism:
Sweet cock and asshole, with eyes like a frog,
wrap your legs around me,
and fuck me like a dog.........

That poor soldier was never seen or heard from again, and to this day is considered AWOL from his unit..........

[speedylocksmith]

I like beer